Your Sports Guy Online

Tag: psychology

  • How to Get Rid of Shoulder Tension

    How to Get Rid of Shoulder Tension

    Tension and tightness in the neck and shoulders is a common symptom of stress and anxiety. It’s part of the body’s way of gearing up to survive a perceived physical threat. In other words, it’s part of the “fight or flight” stress response.

    The body gears up for action, but in modern western society it doesn’t have a chance to fight or flee, so the nervous system tends to stay in this state of tension.

    This can show up in a number of ways: neck and shoulder tension, migraine headaches, irritability and a diminished ability to concentrate, chronic tightness in the upper back and arms, or high blood pressure.

    Psychology offers insight into the fascinating area of human behavior and provides a better understanding of why people act and think like they do. Being mindful of how we behave, react, respond, etc., is a solid start in managing stress. Meditation and breathing techniques aid in the practice of mindfulness.

    How do I get rid of tension in my neck and shoulders?

    When most people start learning how to release tension in the neck and shoulders, they want a magical solution. They think that all you have to do is rub some oil on your skin and it will just melt away. However, there isn’t any magic cure-all product out there for releasing stress from your body. If you’re looking for a magical solution to your problem, you won’t find it in oil massages.

    Here are four different tactics you can use at home to relieve tension in your neck and shoulders. They may not be perfect solutions, but they’ll work for most people’s necks and shoulders without too much frustration or time spent.

    If you really want a long-term release of tension in your neck and shoulders, you’re better off using some magical oil that melts all the tension away.

    Even if you master the home remedies I’m suggesting now, those muscles will still tighten up with stress or fatigue. A regular massage now and then can keep your shoulders feeling loose and free for longer periods of time.

    Fortunately, muscle tension in your neck and shoulders responds well to several different techniques, including targeted stretching, yoga, handheld massage guns, massage chairs, and other relaxation methods. There are many!

    To help relieve or prevent tension in your neck and shoulders:

    • Apply warm compress to tight area
    • Spend a few minutes doing a self-massage each day, as needed
    • Soak in warm tub with Epsom salts and a few drops of aromatherapy/essential oils for extra relaxation and healing
    • Adjust your workspace, so computer is at eye level, avoiding possible neck strain
    • Check posture while at your workspace, making sure to keep hips, shoulders and ears in a straight line
    • Get up and move away from workspace each hour for a few minutes
    • When resting, use a pillow that offers good support for your neck, and is designed to keep your head and neck aligned

    Four different techniques that you can use to release tension in your neck and shoulders:

    • A hot shower
    • Massaging your neck and shoulders
    • A hot towel massage
    • Ice therapy

    A hot shower will help your muscles release their tensions. The sooner you take a hot shower after a stressful day, the better it will be for your muscles. If you don’t have time to take a long shower or bath, then just turn on the water in that bathroom sink full-blast hot. This is the quickest, easiest way to relieve stress for your neck and shoulders.

    One thing you can do after taking a hot shower is rub or massage your neck and shoulders with some nice moisturizing lotion. Any kind of moisturizing lotion will work, I like using Trader Joe’s organic coconut oil.  I usually rub it into the top of my shoulders first, then I move on to my neck. Don’t forget to massage your upper arms as well. Your body knows how tense it feels, so be sure to relieve some stress from those shoulders and upper arms too.

    Combining a hot shower with some vigorous massaging can work wonders for relieving tension in your neck and shoulders.

    Whenever you’re feeling tense, lie down on a floor mat in a room that’s dark and quiet. Just rest there for a while with your eyes closed. Maybe do some deep breathing to help yourself relax. You can even try doing some yoga stretches or just stretch out any way you want. Your body will be releasing the tension it felt while you were standing up. If you’re serious about practicing yoga, then take a look at some YouTube videos. I don’t recommend that you start doing yoga without any proper training or guidance. There are plenty of great YouTube channels for yoga instruction if you want to get started.

    If your neck is very tense, it may be worthwhile to get a massage from a professional. A good massage can work wonders for relieving tension in your neck and shoulders. You should research some local professionals and book an appointment to see if you really like the service they provide. If you do, then maybe consider getting massages more often than just when you feel tense.

    EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques) is an excellent tool for releasing stress in these areas, as well as many other situations. Here’s how to do it:

    • Gently tap with your index and middle fingers on the “sweet spots” which are found on both sides of the body.
    • On each spot, tap 5 times and repeat the following “wishes” out loud:

    “On my (shoulder) I wish to feel calm”

    “On my (neck) I wish to feel calm”

    • Then use your imagination and tap some more on all of the spots that you might be holding stress or tension.

    For example, you might be feeling overwhelmed at work and tapping on your neck reveals that there’s also some tightness in the back of your head. Keep tapping gently until you feel relief.

    • Once you’ve tapped the spots that feel tense, take a deep breath, and focus on relaxing your shoulders. You might notice your body unwinding as you breathe. Take a few deep breaths, focusing on breathing out any tension or stress that you might have been holding. As you exhale, imagine the tension flowing away with your breath.
    • When you feel calm and relaxed, gently open your eyes.
  • Healthy Boundaries in Relationships

    Healthy Boundaries in Relationships

    Healthy relationships include respect from both sides. The best way to communicate boundaries with one another is with compassion, understanding, and respect for each other’s expectations. Having respect each time we communicate will ultimately make any relationship healthier and stronger.

    What are the 3 steps to setting boundaries?

    1. Challenge Your Guilt.
    2. Identify Your Barriers and Fears.
    3. Make Rules for Yourself.

    Understand that:

    • Boundaries have nothing to do with love
    • Boundaries are a peaceable thing
    • Boundaries are basic principles you identify for yourself

    What are examples of healthy boundaries?

    Boundaries have nothing to do with how much I love someone but more about whether I love myself enough to express my needs in a healthy way.

    Many adult children are emotionally fused with their parents. Parents are the primary source of our adult identity. If you had an unmanageable childhood, chances are that yours is not very clear. When someone is emotionally fused with another person, they have difficulty drawing boundaries between themselves and others. As a result, they give too much and take too little. Understanding the need for boundaries is one of the keys to breaking free from your family of origin and developing a healthier relationship with them (and yourself).

    Most people struggling with boundary issues tend to be those who experienced alcoholic or addictive behaviors in their family of origin. Therefore, it was not unusual for them to take on the addictive behavior of a parent or sibling, whether it was drugs, alcohol, compulsive working out at the gym, or overeating.

    How do you know if you have difficulty with boundaries? Look at your family of origin. Did you have to take care of your parents, for instance?

    Think about boundaries in your current relationships. Do you find yourself giving too much and demanding little in return? Do you feel guilty when you say no? Do others tell you that they don’t know where they stand with you because “you are all over the map?”

    Key components to having healthy boundaries:

    • Know your values and live by them

    You may have gotten away with being “pleasers” all of your life, but you must be true to yourself if you want a fulfilling relationship with others. Ask yourself, what is important in my life? What do I need to do to take care of myself? Set your limits. If you don’t tell others what you want or need, how do they know what to do for you? The only way someone will know is if you tell them! It does not mean that people will automatically give it, but at least the opportunity exists. 

    • Know when enough is enough

    When someone is emotionally fused with you, they will try to get their needs met by leaning on you. It may feel good for a moment, but it doesn’t work in the long run. You end up resenting them, and they become angry because of your “no.” Have compassion for yourself. Boundary issues arise when we have not taken care of ourselves or allowed ourselves to become emotionally suffocated. When you know that someone is trying to manipulate your feelings, tell them “No” and walk away. If it’s not good for you, then it doesn’t feel right! 

    • Practice detachment

    Detachment does not mean that you are dissociated from the situation or person but rather that you allow yourself to step back and examine the situation. When we become too emotionally entangled, it becomes difficult to be objective and make sound decisions.

    If you struggle with setting boundaries, remember that you cannot control what others do – whether it is giving back or withdrawing from you. You can only control how you react. When we strengthen ourselves and practice the above steps, it becomes easier to let go of the fear that others will leave us when we speak up for ourselves. You can learn to trust that what is in your best interest will be in their best interest too! (Adapted from The Wizard of Oz and other Narcissists)

    What are examples of emotional boundaries?

    When family members get together, sometimes those personal boundaries can be blurred. We may feel as though we need to overshare or allow others to disrespect us. Healthy boundaries in family relationships are important because it respects yourself and the people around you.

    When we set up healthy boundaries, we give ourselves permission to protect ourselves and say no without feeling guilty or selfish.

    Here are some tips to help with setting boundaries in your family relationships:

    Clearly identify your boundary

    Make sure you know exactly what it is that you want to communicate to the person about their behavior and be able to express the boundary specifically.

    Be straight forward

    Don’t beat around the bush or sugar coat; just say it straight out.

    Don’t apologize or give long explanations

    Just state the boundary in a simple sentence without any “ifs”, “ands”, or “buts”.

    Use a calm and polite tone

    The more upset you are, the less likely you’ll be taken seriously.

    Start with tighter boundaries

    It’s easier to go from no boundaries to a little boundary. Make small changes before you make drastic changes.

    Address boundary violations early

    Address the problem as soon as it happens, if not sooner. If you don’t address the issue right away, it only worsens and starts to feel natural.

    Don’t make it personal

    When you set your boundaries around someone else’s choices, you don’t have to take responsibility for their choices.

    Respect yourself

    Enough that you won’t allow others to treat you poorly or disrespect your privacy.  You can set healthy boundaries with everyone around you by being honest and respectful about what you expect from them.